How to Get Spring into our Hearts

I’m driving my family insane listening to this song, “Take Me into the Beautiful.” It’s my spring song. What does spring look like in your part of the globe? Here’s why spring is my favorite season in Turkey:

Spring is a season of hope:

Have you ever lived through a winter that never ended? The weather never got warmer, birds never sang, the trees stayed bare, and flowers never bloomed? No matter how long the winter is, spring always comes!

Spring is physical demonstration of God’s promise to renew us and give us new life.  No matter how long you’ve felt spiritually weary or dead, renewal WILL come.  “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (Psalm 30:5) It’s a promise that I love to hold on to.

How to Keep on Going When the Road Seems Long

Do you ever feel like all your hard work is in vain?

You clean your house, but it’s dirty again the next day.

You strive to teach your children something, but it seems like they never learn.

You want to change a bad habit but fall back into the same trap.

You resolve to be more patient, but once again you find your nerves on edge and your voice rising.

Here in the Mslm World we share our faith and sow seed in hard ground, but few respond.  

Follow this link to the rest of my post on Cross-Cultural Mom's Companion

When You Have a Case of the Doldrums

Do you ever feel like a pendulum? One moment you’re filled with thankfulness for God’s good gifts, and the next moment you’re complaining? One day you’re excited about life, and the next day you’re in the doldrums? This January I feel like a pendulum.

Enjoying Life Where You Are

Photo Credit: Sunkist.com

I remember the fretting I did before our family returned to America for a whole year in 2009. “What are we going to eat?” I wondered.  I was thinking about olives, olive oil, olive paste, fresh cheese, red peppers, fresh herbs, vine ripened tomatoes and fruit from the market in Turkey.  

Then we came back home for a year and got used to sweet corn on the cob in the summer, sugar snap peas, delicious peanut butter, corn tortillas, corn chips, enchiladas, and convenience foods. Beef was relatively cheap, and bananas tasted good all year round.

My Most Wonderful Problem

When I saw face Gizem’s Facebook message, anxiety welled up inside me: “Can we come over to see you before your trip?” I surveyed the littered suitcases, and summer clothes piled up on the floor in my bedroom and thought about our weekend schedule:

Friday night:   Visit with friends

Saturday:         Breakfast out with friends

                        Shopping, housecleaning

Sister for dinner

Sunday:           House Church meeting.

The only free time I had was Sunday afternoon.

Should I invite Gizem to come with her husband? When was I going to start packing for our trip? We were leaving early Wednesday morning, and I hadn’t even started packing home school supplies, gifts for people back home, and winter and summer clothes for four people.

Not a New Year's Resolution

I don’t like New Year’s resolutions, especially if they have to do with diet and exercise.  This year, however, I do want to acquire a new habit, even if I’m not calling it a resolution.

I want to work on memorizing scripture. Not just verses, but passages. Not just to check a box off the Christian “To Do” list, but to focus my thoughts on God and His words to me. I want my mind to be renewed.

Most days I’m in serious need of a mental makeover by 5:00 p.m.  I start the day on a positive note, but often home school, housework, e-mail, errands, visits, and phone calls leave my mind worn down and overwhelmed by late afternoon.

Celebrating Life Every Day!

My advent wreath, Swedish candelabra, and a quilt made by my mom, grandma and aunt.

Traditions from Home

My Texas mama, who spent all her life in the West Texas desert city of El Paso, is far away from Izmir-on- the-Aegean.  Mom calls her house Casa Rosa. It’s a beautiful place filled with Southwest art treasures and has a glorious view of the stark, cactus-dotted Franklin Mountain.  Casa Rosa is a far cry from Özgür 2 Sitesi, our 9 story apartment dwelling across the street from a strip of kebap restaurants, but nevertheless, I carry Mom’s presence with me here.

I hold many things I learned from her inside me, and one is celebration.  Mom decorated the house for every holiday. I remember valentines and gifts at the breakfast table on February 14^th, and clover on St. Patrick’s Day.

Better Late than Never Thanksgiving!

Our Salvadoran American family will have its traditional, one-day-late, Friday night Thanksgiving celebration here in Turkey with British, Mexican, Belgian, Brazilian, and Turkish friends. Being far away from home and family makes it important to create our own traditions. Every year my daughter and I make homemade decorations. Our guests write what they’re thankful for on red, yellow and orange paper leaves to hang on our Thanksgiving tree. I have happy memories of our past Thanksgivings in Turkey, and some disasters behind me as well, such as the year I burned holes in all my tablecloths with candle place settings! 

Pet Peeves and Blessings

My daughter points out the electrical wiring hanging off our
living room wall. Should I  hang flowers on it?

Recently my car broke down on a busy street while I was driving. The transmission suddenly stopped working, and the car wouldn’t move, no matter how much gas I gave it. A kind Turkish amca (uncle) offered to push it, but I was scared to death he’d get hit by another car. Two weeks and $350 later, the very same thing happened again to my husband.  Only I was away at a five day retreat, and it was the first day of the Sacrifice Festival, which meant all repair shops would be closed for four days.  I couldn’t believe it when he called me.  All these years I’ve been the one at home alone with the kids and things breaking down while HE travels...

Yesterday was my first day back home after an amazing retreat time and the first business day after the holiday. A tow truck finally came to transport our car to the shop, but it broke down, so my husband had to wait for a second truck. Then our hot water heater broke, so repairmen hauled it away to fix it. The whisk I used while cooking dinner broke in my hand, and when I laid down next to my daughter to kiss her goodnight, her bed partially collapsed.  (I’m really not THAT overweight!)

Back to Real Life After Vacation

Getting back from a glorious day at the beach to unload sandy towels and bathing suits into the washing machine and unpack the picnic basket can be a dismal wake up call to reality.  It reminds me of going back to work on Mondays after the weekend. A little voice inside me says, “If only the good life could continue.”

Last week God gave me an amazing gift vacation.  My daughter and I planned to visit a friend who was house sitting on the Southern Turkish coast. I had no idea beforehand that my friend’s place was a luxury apartment right on the beach, with lovely gardens, four swimming pools, and two water slides. I had a chance to reconnect with my daughter as we spent five relaxing days at the pool and on the beach.  More importantly, I had a chance to reconnect with God during the morning hours I spent on the balcony reading, journaling, and enjoying the view and the cool ocean breeze.

By Thursday I was beginning to dread returning home, and when I walked in the door on Friday night, I was struck by the reality of a hot apartment, dirty kitchen floor, and laundry. 

Returning home from vacation has me thinking about enjoying everyday, ordinary life.  When Jesus said he came to give us abundant life, what was he talking about?  Surely he meant more than taking an occasional vacation!  Surely he was talking about a rich and rewarding everyday life. I want to cultivate an attitude that recognizes the abundant life God gives me every day, not one that longs for a perpetual vacation.

Here’s what I’m trying to focus on as I contemplate starting home school again after a summer break:

• Enjoy what you’re doing:

I used to look at work as something to get over with so I could finally do what I really enjoyed: spend time with friends, read a book, talk a walk.  A friend challenged me with a surprising statement: “I try to enjoy what I’m doing as I work.  Otherwise my life will go by with my wishing I was doing something else.” That simple statement changed the way I view everyday work. Now I pray almost daily that God will help me to enjoy the tasks and responsibilities in front of me.

• Cultivate contentment:

We all have life circumstances that we wish were different: financial problems, struggles with a child, stress at work.  Getting away from these while we’re on vacation is healthy, but they can loom larger than ever after we return. I want to cultivate a healthy attitude of acceptance and contentment even though everything in my life is not perfect.  I want to focus on the positive.

• Thankfulness:

Often I don’t appreciate everyday life because I’m blowing through in a hurry, not taking time to stop and notice the good things God gives me.  In an effort to make myself slow down and take notice, I continue with my 1000 Gifts List:

340. A cooler night and more sleep

341. My daughter’s excitement over the book “Heaven is for Real.”

342. Prayer in the morning with my husbands.

343. Homemade jelly from summer apricots.

 If I pay attention, I see that my life is full of God’s gracious gifts, evidences of His care and blessing over me.

These are my efforts to bring a relaxed vacation mentality into real life. How do you look at getting back to ordinary life after time off for R & R?

Gratitude in the Midst of Nitty Gritty Life

I haven’t been able to get my hands on a copy of Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, but the title alone intrigues me, and the book pops up everywhere I look on the internet. Plopped down in a city of 4 million Muslims, I am worlds away from Ann’s Mennonite farming country, but her One Thousand Gifts website has touched me with its message of gratefulness and wonder over God’s gifts.

Petty complaints and giant obstacles

To be honest, when life gets tough and things go wrong, my tendency is to complain, worry, or feel sorry for myself. I love the unique cross-cultural life and ministry God has given us, but it’s easy to get bogged down if I focus on daily frustrations like:

• No central air conditioning with summer temperatures of 40 Celsius
• Equipment and furniture that break frequently due to a lack of quality control
• Trying to organize my time among people who do not plan
• Occasional water, electricity, phone and internet cuts

These are petty complaints I’m almost ashamed to mention, but the greatest challenge is slow work that often seems like three steps forward and two steps back in a hard land.  Response to our message of hope is slow.

I don’t want to miss out on God’s gifts

Even though we face obstacles, I don’t want to miss out on the joys of the life God is giving me now.  Ten years down the road, I don’t want to look back and realize that I can’t remember the myriad grace gifts of God and the joys of raising a family because I was focused solely on the challenges of serving in a Muslim country. I want to be present each day to receive God’s love and grace and to give him thanks for His gifts. 

Years ago someone challenged me to thank God for 5 things every night before bed, and last month again God convicted my heart about cultivating gratitude.  I’ve been encouraged by the 1000 Gifts dare: “Ann invites us to embrace every day blessings and embark on the transformative spiritual discipline of chronicling God’s gifts.” (her website) I see bloggers everywhere are making lists of things they are thankful for, so I decided to make one myself.  Every morning before my quiet time, I write down 5-7 things I’m thankful for.  Here are some examples:

109.  My 14 year old son playing guitar as we worship together as a family

110.  My daughter, who styled my hair the other day and did a great job

111.  My husband, who serves all of us in so many ways

112.  Dear friends and a sister who generously gives her possessions, money, and spiritual encouragement

113.  The garlicky deliciousness of Turkish green beans cooked in olive oil, tomatoes and onions

114.  The chance to put my feet in the Aegean, squish my toes through the cool sand, and listen to the waves come against the shore last weekend

115.  The daily presence of God, whose love and mercy never leave me

116.  The slow but steady advancement of God’s grace touching lives here

I’d like to say that making this list is transforming me into a more grateful person, but I’m not there yet. I have to confess I still complain, but my 1000 gifts list is helping me to open my eyes and reminding me to enjoy my blessings.

Have you read One Thousand Gifts?  What did you think? If you haven’t read it, leave a comment about what you’re thankful for today.

What's so Important about Joy?

This week I had a quiet panic attack when I realized I’d left my residence permit --the one that costs $60 along with the $600 application fee-- at my daughter’s skating center.  I kept it quiet because I was desperately hoping to retrieve it before my dear husband found out! Praying and holding my breath all the way, I raced to the center in the car with my two kids.   I must have been uptight because as we walked into the building I accidentally dropped my glasses right in my daughter’s path.  I let out an involuntary scream, “Don’t walk on my glasses!”  She pretended not to know me.

Fortunately the trusty handy man had found and locked up my residence permit for safekeeping. After I picked it up, I went into the parking lot and tried to get into someone else’s car.

“Uh, Mom,” my son said.  “That’s not our car.” That had been why my key wasn’t working.

Next we drove to the pet shop.  After making my purchase I walked out of the store and left my credit card on the counter.

The shop keeper came out running.  “Ma’am, don’t forget your card!”

I thought, “Hmm, am I seeing a pattern here?” That’s when I started laughing. All the way back home, I turned up the music, and my kids and I laughed about my mishaps.

One of my goals is to be a more joyful person even when life’s glitches come up. Sometimes it helps just to stop and laugh at myself. On challenging days I try to take a deep breath and tell myself, “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

For me joy is not just extra frosting on the cake of life. It is crucial to a fulfilling life. Joy gives me strength.  Joy gives me a new lens on life, but it’s not just something that happens to me when all of my problems are solved and everything works out okay.  It doesn’t always fall into my lap.

Joy is something I can cultivate.  Here are ways I seek to do that:

• Enjoy God

One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 16: “In your presence there is fullness of joy.” This reminds me that no matter what happens, I can take joy in God’s presence with me and in his love for me. 

• Enjoy Life

Let’s face it. A lot of life is pretty ho-hum. Sometimes it’s difficult. I pray often, “God, help me to enjoy the life you’re giving me today.” I want to embrace my life today, and try to enjoy even the simple, mundane tasks. I want to savor simple pleasures like conversations around the dinner table.

• Laugh and smile as much as I can

It’s amazing how smiling can change my attitude on a bad day. 

• Make room in my life for things I enjoy

Here is a list of practical things I can do to increase the level of joy in my life.

1. Walk in the park.
2. Call a friend on the phone.
3. Plant flowers on my balcony.
4. Reach out to someone who may need encouragement.
5. Make time for friends.
6. Talk to my kids or my husband about what interests them.
7. Drink Turkish coffee with my neighbors.
8. Cook some slow food.
9. Read a good book.

What do you enjoy doing? How do you seek to keep a positive attitude?

Criticizing our Hosts? Or Learning from Them?

Criticizing

When you live overseas, it’s easy to fall into the habit of criticizing everything you find different or challenging in your host culture.  In Turkey, foreigners complain about bureaucracy, disorganized traffic, lack of planning, people arriving late, people arriving early, or people not showing up at all.  It’s easy to see the negative side of everything.  I should know.  I just spent one and a half hours waiting in two lines in order to apply for a new cell phone account.  It was my third trip to the cell phone shop in one week.

Cultivating Wonder and Thankfulness

Instead of grumbling about my host country, I want to cultivate a sense of wonder and thankfulness for God’s allowing me to be here.  Recently I wrote about life changing lessons I've learned from Turks.  Last month I had several “Where else but Turkey?” experiences that reminded me again to appreciate the kindness and generosity of Turks.

• At the bakery one day I was caught with no wallet and needed to buy a box of cookies.  The counter person said, “Don’t worry.  Take the cookies and just bring the money the next time you come.”

• In front of our neighborhood police station, I asked the officer on duty if he knew where there was a photocopier.  He said, “Oh, I can make these for you right here. How many do you need?” And he gave me free copies on the police station!

Recognizing Kindness

Last month I sat in the crowded waiting room of our neighborhood public health clinic, just 40 minutes before closing time.  I had a hacking cough. Would the doctor even see me?  It seemed like a long shot.   I didn’t have a health card, and there were about 6 patients before me. Would this doctor be willing to wait on a foreigner who wasn’t even registered with the health system?  I waited until the door opened and peeked in.  I saw a pretty blonde doctor in a white coat.

“I don’t have a health card,” I said, “but I live in this neighborhood. Can you see me?”

“I have too many patients,” she answered.  “Come back tomorrow morning.”

“But tomorrow is Saturday,” I protested. “The clinic is closed.”

“Well, wait outside, and I’ll see if I have time.”

The minutes crept by.  Patient after patient went in and out. Finally the doctor called me in.

“Can I have your Turkish id number?” she asked.

“I don’t have one,” I answered. “I’m not a Turkish citizen. I have a residence permit, but our numbers are different.”

The Doctor spent 10 minutes trying to type my information into her computer, but my residence permit number didn’t fit into the system.  She called another doctor. For a minute I thought that even after the hour wait, all was lost since I didn’t fit into the computer system. 

She finally gave up and said, “What is it you need?”

“I’ve been coughing for two weeks, and I just want to see if I need an antibiotic.”

So she examined me, wrote a prescription and handed it to me with a smile.

   

As I left, I thought about how I could either be frustrated over the hour wait and the confusion generated by my residence permit number, or I could be grateful for this doctor who was willing to go the extra mile at closing time to serve a total stranger.  She was someone I could learn from.

If you have travelled or live overseas what have you grumbled about? What have you learned?

Three Ways to Keep my Head Above Water

I was going to name this post, “Three ways to Stay Spiritually Fresh,” but that sounded too holy.  Some days I’m feeling spiritually renewed; other days I’m just fighting to keep my head above water!

In my part of the world, Christians face a tough spiritual climate.  We share the gospel, but see few results.  Sometimes people put their faith in Christ, and then fall away.  I remember a time several years ago when a dear young man my husband discipled for over a year left our church over a disagreement.  We loved this younger brother and were sorry to see him go.  We rejoiced that he continued to follow the Lord in another fellowship, but we missed him. It was discouraging for our small group, who lost another member due to divorce during the same time.  Discouraging circumstances can be part of everyday life.

Maintaining spiritual vitality in this climate is crucial for me.  I don’t want to just survive here.  I want to live joyfully, thankfully receiving all God has for me.  Three things help me to keep my head above water and stay fresh:

         1.  Reading God’s word.

This sounds cliché, but it’s true.  God’s word inspires me, encourages me, strengthens me, and challenges me to grow.  I try to read it daily. I also find it stimulating to talk about what I’m reading with others.  Most mornings before breakfast, my husband and I talk about what we’ve read.  Last night driving home in the car with my Turkish sister we spoke briefly about Romans, which we are both currently reading. My children and I are reading Proverbs together, and it’s great to hear their thoughts.

David wrote: “Blessed is the man”…who delights “in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.” (Psalm 1:1,2,3)

        2.  Journaling and Writing

I keep a journal where I record scriptures that encourage me, or write short prayers.  It helps me keep track of what God is speaking to me.  Last year I read a book by Bill Hybels called Too Busy Not To Pray, and he shared his approach to incorporating writing with prayer.  At the start of his daily quiet time he does some journaling about what is on his mind, and after unburdening his heart, he is attentive and ready to read God’s word.  He also suggested writing down prayer requests as well as questions that we want to ask God. The idea of writing down questions for God challenges my faith.  For me, writing is a powerful tool to come to terms with what I am thinking.

        3.  Taking Time to Enjoy Life’s Small Blessings

It’s easy to rush through life without stopping to smell the roses.  I remember this when I walk out of my apartment building and see the roses cultivated by our doorman.  I often take time to stop and smell a rose. I look at it and remember it’s a small miracle of God.  There are so many things in life to enjoy: a conversation with my children when they’re excited about something, tea with a friend, the taste of an apple pie, reading a good book. Most days I take a walk in the park near my house.   It’s a 30 minute mini-vacation. These are gifts from God, and I want to enjoy them to the fullest! 

What are things that you do to maintain spiritual freshness?