Have you ever planned something that just didn’t turn out as you’d hoped?
I thought I had a great plan for myself during my husband’s two and a half week trip out of the country. I knew I’d miss Jose, but I was almost looking forward to a little extra freedom to plan life on my own for two weeks. During his absence I planned to visit a few women friends that I’m seeking to share God’s love with. I would use the time alone in the evenings after the kids were in bed for working on a writing project, and I hoped to spend time with a few girlfriends I haven’t seen recently.
My plans came to a halt when I woke up with the flu the morning I had to take Jose to the airport. After he left, I struggled through the days trying to accomplish the bare minimum of keeping house, cooking, homeschooling and driving the kids to their extra-curricular activities despite feeling lousy. On week two a hacking cough set in. How could this be happening? I hadn’t been this sick in years. I felt overwhelmed by responsibilities and frustrated that I couldn’t make the visits I’d planned.
I was forced to rest. Sick in bed, I realized again my own human frailty and weakness. God reminded me that I’m not superwoman. Of course he’s taught me this before, but I guess I’m a slow learner. I had time to think about several things:
I am dependent on God’s grace.
Being sick reminded me that I am not as capable or strong as I think I am. I can do nothing without God’s power and grace. I kept remembering Paul’s words in 2 Cor. 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” That was good news because I was definitely feeling weak.
God doesn’t need me to accomplish his work.
I felt frustrated about not being able to visit the m friends I’ve been praying for and want to reach out to. My husband and I have a vision for cp., and I had looked forward to continuing our ministry of sowing seeds while he was gone. So I was discouraged until I finally had a fresh realization: God’s work is not dependent on what I can do in two weeks while my husband is out of town! He will still bring people to himself even if I have to take things easy for two weeks. This is a no brainer. I was even able to laugh over how seriously I’d been taking myself.
I can let go and trust Him.
When I was able to let go and accept that God’s plan for the time during my husband’s absence was different than mine, I ended up with extra time to focus on my relationship with the Him. I couldn’t meet friends and do many activities, but I spent some extra minutes with Jesus when I could, did a bit of reading, and enjoyed time with my kids. Last month, I’d been feeling the need to be refilled, and perhaps God allowed this because it was the only way to get me to slow down.
I’ve decided once more that I don’t want to be superwoman. I just want Christ’s power to rest on me.
How about you? Has anything happened to you lately that reminded you you’re not superhuman?